I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
