i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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