Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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