It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
