youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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