uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
