ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
