can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
