you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
