Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
