Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
