Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
