its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize