I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
