her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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