And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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