you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize