like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
