this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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