yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
