fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
