he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
