was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He shit in the fireplace
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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