either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
