8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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