I think my fart just growled at me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
