So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
