my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My penis needs a shock collar
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
