I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
there is glitter all over my balls
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