Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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