What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
