Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm sobbing to NWA
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
