Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
