Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
