It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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