I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
