Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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