Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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