who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize