Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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