how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
