piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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