i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
