He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
