I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
