So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize