Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Houston, we have a blender
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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