Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
