Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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