I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
