margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
