u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
