Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
