Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
