Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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