I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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