just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
