not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
