Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My pussy is not your playground.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
