it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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