Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
