she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
