why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left the knife in your bed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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