i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
